


Just for a moment, twice

by MagicCrud



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Garreg Mach Monastery (Fire Emblem), Garreg Mach Officers' Academy (Fire Emblem), Holding Each Other, Little Crushes, M/M, Mentioned Dorothea Arnault, Mentioned Golden Deer Students (Fire Emblem), Mentioned Manuela Casagranda, Mentioned My Unit | Byleth, Mentioned Rodrigue Achille Fraldarius, Mentions of Death, Mutual Pining, Non-Sexual Bathing, Post-Timeskip | War Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Pre-Timeskip | Academy Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Warm embraces, dried blood, embracing, shared glances
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-04
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:12:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26289289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagicCrud/pseuds/MagicCrud
Summary: "You once held me like this...before. Before everything. Do you remember, Ignatz?"--Two kind boys brought together for just a moment by mutual observation.Two bloodstained men brought together for just a moment by a need to receive the mercy they cannot give.The two times Dimitri and Ignatz held and were held by one another.--I can't believe a VA bromance led to all this angst.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd & Ignatz Victor, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Ignatz Victor, Ignatz Victor/Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd
Comments: 1
Kudos: 12
Collections: 2020 Ultra Rarepair Big Bang





	1. The first

**Author's Note:**

> Finally, my piece for the FE3H rarepair big bang is done! The first chapter is a flashback of sorts to pre-timeskip era IgMitri and the second chapter is post-timeskip relationship...resolution? Well, my favorite boys have come full circle, at any rate.  
> This work was split into 2 chapters for easier readability.
> 
> Why do I ship IgMitri? 1) They're my two favorite Three Houses boys. 2) Chris Hackney and Christian La Monte are in a very tongue in check bromance in real life. Just watch their interactions on the Anime Impulse sneaky eating challenge. Good friends. 3) They are both good boys gone a little or a lot bloodthirsty. 4) Hamster with banana (If you think you know who's the hamster, you're wrong.)
> 
> Please enjoy and feel free to leave constructive criticism!

One particular memory. Ignatz could point to one singular memory that had made him unable to bring himself to leave the monastery after reuniting with everyone on what should have been the Millenium Festival. The time spent with all of those that Professor Byleth had pulled into her fold had truly been some of the best months of his life, only to be followed shortly after by the worst. He had been made a Blue Lion late in the Verdant Rain Moon, so he was just in time to join as an adjutant during their mission to Conand tower. To this day, Ignatz had no proper idea as to why the professor had decided to try and recruit him with such gusto. Every weekend, as soon as she was able, she would send him a simple missive letting him know that he was called to eat with her at the dining hall, or that he was on cooking duty with her today, or that she had requested that he joined her in choir practice that day. At first, he went along with it all to avoid upsetting a teacher, not to mention an utterly unpredictable former mercenary. After that, he accepted her invitations for the shameful reason that he found her very beautiful, odd mannerisms and all. Soon, though he found a new reason to shadow the Blue Lions during their weekend cleanup skirmishes: The House Leader. 

Dimitri had always had fans, both inside and outside of the Blue Lions class. However, Ignatz had been far too intimidated by the man's mere image to call himself a full-on “fan” of the king-to-be, perhaps he could just be someone who admires his aesthetic from afar. Those were his thoughts when he had first started at the academy, when there was no inkling in his mind that he would ever change classes, when he was certain that the only connection that he and Dimitri would ever share was that of having the same alma mater, and that would be all. Thoughts from a time when he had no idea that the strange new mercenary, who saved the lives of all three House Leaders, would fix him with such a soul-piercing stare the moment he and Lysithea had introduced themselves to her. Ignatz still had no earthly idea what about him caught her eye that day. But he did know what about Dimitri caused him to become enraptured with the prince: his warmth.

He had not imagined the Prince of Faerghus warmly sitting down to dine next to Claude and Leonie, a commoner who wasn't even from his country, especially not a few short days before the first mock battle between the houses. Ignatz had barely known anyone besides Raph at the time and even he could tell from his limited interactions with Claude that there was something entirely artificial about his confident class-clown act. Claude seemed like he was a genuinely good person, but he never seemed to be truly happy at Garreg Mach; he was entirely too vigilant and poised for someone who claimed to be so relaxed and jovial. Dimitri, on the other hand, had seemed to be a being of godlike, unattainable perfection. However, this princely young man was soon proven to be a humanized version of the very dog that had been named for the Blaiddyds. He seemed able and happy to get along with anyone from all walks of life no matter their place of origin. Ignatz would be lying if he said he wasn’t jealous of how naturally Dimitri’s friendliness and kindheartedness flowed forth from him in every interaction with pretty much anyone who wasn’t an enemy. Much distant observation of the Prince’s interactions with his social equals, his future subjects, his taciturn retainer, and even people who would probably never set foot in any of his territories revealed Dimitri to be much warmer than most in his same position would be.

Still, Ignatz himself had been far too shy to dare to approach him at first. They were too different, and Dimitri’s sociability just highlighted that. Many were the times that Ignatz thought, in his youthful immaturity, there was no way that he would be able to hold his own in a conversation with the Crown Prince of Faerghus, despite any and all evidence to the contrary. It was all just due to how naive and green he had been before all of the upcoming trials and tribulations which that year would bring him and all who lived in Fodlan, not to mention the hardships of a continent-spanning war. Younger Ignatz could not have known the future, however, so he continued to stay on the edges of his own small social bubble in the Golden Deer house. Even there, he kept mostly to himself or latched onto Marianne who seemed to be even more frightened by social situations than he himself was.

Even during the Professor's passionate recruitment drive, he was still cautious of interacting with Dimitri, despite the fact that they now fought nearly side-by-side against bandits and small demonic beasts on some weekends. It wasn't until he found himself face-to-face with the prince in a cross-house sword tournament that they exchanged words for the first time. 

"Well, Ignatz, I'm greatly looking forward to crossing swords with someone so earnest about bettering their swordsmanship." It took Ignatz a solid ten seconds to process that the tall blonde boy had directed his statement at him. He had spoken to the smaller artist in such a friendly manner that at first, Ignatz had figured that he must have been speaking to one of his noble friends. And then Ignatz processed that Dimitri had said his name. He hadn't been imagining it. "U-uh, me?" the alliance boy had finally responded with a tremor in his voice that he couldn' keep out. "I mean, thank you for saying that but, I mean, I'm not really quite as passionate about the sword as some, I think..." It was then, after solidly embarrassing himself with his lack of social graces, that he looked towards the man who had so courteously addressed him. Dimitri was casually lacing his training gear, carefully checking over his armor for any dents while giving it a buffing here or there. He spoke and acted as if chatting with Ignatz had been something that he had always done...or maybe it was more like he spoke to Ignatz because it was what he had been wanting to do. The painter was about to dismiss that thought as being wishful thinking, and completely ridiculous on top of that when Dimitri turned his head to aim a warm, polite smile at him. Ignatz had not properly realized it at the time, but when he looked back on the moment, he recalled that the gaze of the handsome young prince had made his heart skip a beat. He was still unsure as to what reason he should be the most ashamed for that, or even if he should be ashamed at all. 

Dimitri had returned to carefully watching his lacing, but he still continued to converse with Ignatz. "Oh, there's no need for you to be so modest, I've seen you wield a blade in real combat before, after all. It seems like you've been prepared for this tournament for quite a while, I think. Well, at least you've been prepared for as long as you've been battling alongside us." There he went again, stunning Ignatz with the further demonstration of the depths of his care for what seemed to be every person Dimitri came across. He had taken notice of Ignatz, even back then? It was an unbelievable notion to consider. 

"That's kind of you to say, but Your Highness is the one who is truly more..." Ignatz paused for a second to think of just the right word, but then he realized the full meaning of Dimitri's words. "Wait a moment, what do you mean when you call me 'prepared'? Not that I haven't been training, of course, I've been training."  
"Of course."  
"But, I am just confused as to why you would say that I am prepared to a greater extent than you are. "  
"Well," began Dimitri with a hint of surprise in his voice as he finished up his battle preparations and approached the smaller boy. "I noticed that recently, you have been watching me in battle whenever we are deployed for skirmishes together. Of course, most times that you cross my field of vision your eyes are right where they need to be, but recently, I do sometimes feel your gaze on me when I fight."

'Oh Goddess no,' he remembered thinking to himself in mounting despair upon learning that he had been found out. But all that he could bring himself to say was a quiet "Well, yes, sometimes." He had been beyond ashamed and embarrassed, but Dimitri went on as if nothing was the matter. "I will admit, I was confused at first as to why you would have taken such an intense visual interest in my fighting style, or perhaps in me myself, but then I remembered that this cross-house tournament was coming up!"  
Ignatz, who had been sitting down the entire conversation, stuck lacing a leg guard that just would not allow itself to be fastened properly, was taken by surprise at the sudden sound and feel of a larger body than his sitting down on the step of the edge of the training grounds. Dimitri, having fully geared himself up for combat now, had taken a seat next to Ignatz presumably in order to have more of a face-to-face conversation with him. "Is that leg guard stuck? Please, allow me to help," he offered, all in one breath.

"Oh, I-" Ignatz halted his words of protest since they would be useless, as Dmitri's long fingers were already at work on tidying the mess that was his own nervous attempts. "Thank you very much, your highness, sorry to be a bother to you," the Alliance boy said, a little bit too quietly. Not that he could help it, having a prince do up your combat gear for you felt like a definite betrayal of social expectations, but Ignatz would be a liar if he said there was no trace of a warm blush on his face. 

"It's really not a bother at all, Ignatz!" the blonde dismissed his concerns cheerfully, and with the added touch of the painter's name on his tongue. That kindled some sort of small spark inside of Ignatz's spirit despite himself. He needed to take a long hard look inside himself and really ask why he had latched on to observing the Prince so persistently. For now, Dimitri was the one to pose an explanation. "As I was saying before I interrupted myself, I realized that you surely must have been observing me in order to study my movements in combat in order to give yourself the advantage in this training bout! Goodness, these leg guards just won't..." 

Dimitri moved his positioning from sitting down right by Ignatz's side to kneeling down in front of him in order to lace more efficiently. Neither he nor Ignatz said anything during this transition; one not thinking anything really needed to be said, the other stuck on what to say in response to a seemingly positive accusation that he hoped was true, but in his heart, did not seem to be. 

"I did not take you to be as cunning as your house leader, but it seems that you Golden Deer are quite alike after all." Dimitri chuckled jovially as he finished his task. Ignatz personally didn't think that Claude would regard simple observation as anything worthy of being called 'cunning' but he decided that it would be better not to burst Dimitri's bubble. He was certain that Dimitri observed his foes moves in battle, but he guessed that the prince probably did not have many opportunities for long term observation of an opponents fighting style. "Very crafty, all of you, er, fawns are. Oh, I do not mean to offend, of course, I'm terribly sorry if I did."  
"You didn't," Ignatz said, as quickly as he could get it out of his mouth. "Don't worry, Dimitri, you were right. I was thinking that I could get a bit of a leg up against the strongest opponent in the competition if I could observe him in action for a while. You got me!" Ignatz, in his rush to force out an explanation, a convincing smile, and a laugh, hadn't noticed that he had neglected to call the Prince by his proper title, or any title at all. Just Dimitri. Very few people called Dimitri by his name, and Ignatz did know that, but when one is focusing on two many things at once, it can be hard to remember everything.

Of course, Ignatz would barely remember his exact words to the future king, but the Prince in question was thrown for a bit of a loop by a fellow student, whom he had previously just known as a shy artistic archer from another class, calling him by his name. Ignatz would have had no way of knowing the private nightmares, traumas, and visions that assailed the prince day in and day out, so he would also have no way of knowing what a real comfort it was for Dimitri to hear someone speak his name so normally, with such brightness, and with such warmth. The blonde would never know that while the brightness of the tone was a side effect of nervous desperation for his words to be believed, the warmth that he felt had slipped through Ignatz's words of its own accord. It was real, and somewhere inside of him, Dimitri understood that, though he didn't understand why. 

"I see," a smile blossomed on the pale landscape of the prince's face. "I'm - I'm very glad to hear that." Ignatz looked up from his boots only to be blinded by a radiance emanating from the sunny-haired youth that he had not yet seen, in all his weeks of observation. An aura of real happiness was permeable, and even visible, only to the lucky young artist. Dimitri did not sport a beaming smile, but his countenance had been transformed in the most subtle ways, in ways that only someone so dedicated to bringing a vision into the permanent residence of a stretch of canvas could have noticed it. But to Ignatz, in that instant, it felt as if the Goddess herself had bestowed a temporary boon on one of them, in order to allow whatever sort of radiance this was to be put into the world and felt by the world.  
Evidently, Dimitri did not find the moment too profound to break. "I finished lacing that leg guard for you." Ignatz came out of his trance at that moment. "Oh, s-so you did. Thank you very much." He waited for Dimitri to stand up so that he could rise without bumping into him but to his surprise, the prince was instead offering his hand to help Ignatz up of the ground.  
"You're too kind, really-" the Golden deer thanked him as he accepted the larger hand, only to encounter a roadblock in the form of Dimitri's knee. Perhaps the prince should have fully stood up himself before offering to help another to their feet. Regardless of any chivalry related short-sightedness, the two boys crashed into one another, neither making it fully out of a sitting position before being forced back to the ground by the cruel force of gravity. _'Oh Goddess, no,'_ Ignatz had just a moment to think to himself about the worst possible outcome of this affair and took that moment to act, quickly reaching his arms behind Dimitri's head and pulling it closer to him. While he wasn't in time to fully execute the maneuver before they both hit the ground together with a dull thud, he did manage to keep the princes head mostly out of harm's way...at the cost of a sharp cracking sound from his own upper right arm as it hit the dirt.

He did not end up participating in the competition that day. Neither did Dimitri, though the Blue Lions did win the tournament. Dimitri was too busy fretting over Ignatz's broken arm, although they both knew that Manuela could get it fixed within a few days. Ignatz himself was more worried about Dimitri, pondering the redness of the prince's cheeks that rested upon his Golden Deer chest plate even as all he could hear was the burning of the pain in his arm and Dimitri's yells for a medic. _'Did he hurt his face while I was holding his head to my chest plate? By the Saint's, I hope not, I shouldn't have held his head so close.'_ Regardless of whatever had befallen the prince that day, the healers soon had them untangled them from their embrace, allowing Dimitri to finally remove his head from where it had come to rest on Ignatz's chest and escort Ignatz to the infirmary. Maybe Ignatz had hit his head during the fall, but he could not remember talking face-to-face and one-on-one with Dimitri like that again, even after he accepted Byleths offer to join the Blue Lions.

The lack of communication between the two of them did not seem odd to Ignatz, but he would be lying if he said that he wasn't feeling something complicated about deep at his core. He knew that he had no good reason to desire another moment like that from the Prince but he still could not bring himself to forget that glow that Dimitri had accidentally revealed to him. Still, he would often find himself observing Dimitri throughout the year, and even during the Ethereal Moon when a darker nature began to seep through the imperceivable cracks in Dimitri's pleasant outer self, the Prince would often return those glances. He usually wore a smile that held echoes of that same warmth that had stunned Ignatz on that day, but never in the same quantity. After the death of Jeralt, Dimitri's eyes stayed glued to the professor, and after the events during the Guardian Moon, when Byleth changed into something akin to how Ignatz imagined the Goddess to be, Ignatz's eyes could not stray far from her either. After that, and until the meetup during the war, the two young men could not spare a moment to even glance at each other, but they would occasionally find themselves thinking about the times that they did.

Even during the darkest depths of the loneliest nights spent hiding away from the world, his mind would conjure up memories of his name being called, of the warmth of being held, of the soft echo of Ignatz's heartbeat through the thin training plate. The runaway prince still, after all of the blood he had shed to survive, he still wished to be held like that again.


	2. The second

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "When you broke your arm before the sword tournament. We...tripped, and you tried to protect me."  
> \---  
> A few days before the battle of Myrddin bridge, two men who have led very different lives find a moment in common to enjoy a little warmth in a cold world.

For all who now resided in the hallowed halls of Garreg Mach in the year 1185, it was hard to remember the sweeter days of the establishment, when people used to talk of small things or popular students instead of war, rations, supplies, and how hopeless they felt. There was a time when everyone was friends, and the prince of Faerghus had seemed so sweet and wise. Now, all had become like the animals they felt His Highness was; like rabbits in the brush living cautious, bare lives far away from the den of the wolf that was to be their king. Ignatz seemed to recall a time in the early days of the war, at a place where there were plentiful real rabbits to hunt for their lean meat and soft hides. He wished that there were more around Garreg Mach; the days before Lord Rodrigue had arrived had been quite difficult for all.

As the young artist made his way through the halls on this or that errand in the evening hours of one of the latter days of the Lone Moon, he did his best to avoid the back of the ruined cathedral, at the recommendation of others. People called it “the den of the beast”, now, since his highness had taken roost there like a dying wolf sequestering itself in a cave to wait out its final days. At least, that was how Ignatz saw things since he remembered very clearly the light that had been captured in every aspect of the prince’s countenance during his younger days. He hadn’t been trying to observe Dimitri so closely, but once he had the prince in his sights, he hadn’t been able to look away. All of his thoughts of that nature had always been pushed to the back of his mind as something inappropriate to consider, and that was true now more than ever, but some regrets had resurfaced recently now that he had joined the kingdoms army.

Perhaps he should have joined his friends and his countrymen in the ranks of the Alliance, but he had been unable to spur himself into doing much other than personally checking up on Raphael and Leonie. Besides that, he had only sent each of his other former classmates a letter letting them know that House Victor would offer full support to their houses during the war. Except for House Gloucester, as they and other smaller noble houses that supported them had thrown in their lot with the Empire. Ignatz could not fully bring himself to feel betrayed by this; after all, he too had turned his back on the Alliance, even if he was still technically on the same side as his kin. Though even that was tenuous, as Prince Dimitri had not expressed any outward interest or concern for the fate of anyone sans the Emperor. No matter what the formerly caring prince might be feeling deep within his truest self, his lack of any personal communication with the Alliance Lords was sure to be pulling their strained “mutual enemy” connection rather thin.

Regardless of the politics of all of that, Ignatz was here and glad to be so. Besides, he did not have it as bad as all of the students who had previously held allegiance with the Empire. Some theorized that somehow, Byleth had seen the war coming from the beginning, which would explain why she had snapped up ALL of the most influential Black Eagle students for the Blue Lions, with the obvious exceptions of the new Emperor and her dark retainer. This was probably the best course of action for both her and the students in question, as most of them revealed they were at the very least on the fence about Edelgards methods. "Her ideals seem are good, but she's just gone too far for me to support her," the songstress Dorothea had explained. "Especially not after what I've seen. What we've all seen." Most of the other Adrestian ex-patriots nodded in sullen agreement. Others just kept their heads down. But they were Blue Lions now and had been since their later days in school, so not many gave them trouble. Ignatz for one was glad to have other outsiders, being as he had been the only one Byleth recruited from the Alliance. He desperately hoped that this meant he wouldn't have to face his former classmates in battle.

Trying to push those thoughts from his mind, the green-haired artist continued to fulfill his duties and help in whatever way he could as the day wore on. The weather was colder than it normally should be for a day so late in the Lone Moon, but perhaps the temperature was the same as it ever was, just felt more acutely in the atmosphere of war. Everyone was either bundling themselves or others up against the early spring chill, which was related to Ignatz's last errand of the day as the sky grew dark. The fierce winds that had buffeted the old church had recently caused one of the outer barriers to the path outside of the church to crumble, leaving a gap in the outer wall that some young war orphan could fall through, or a window that an opportune enemy scout could use to climb up. As he was a painter, Ignatz had been assigned to brush some sealant on the edges of the hole and see if he couldn't stick some of the more sturdy blocks back in their place. It was a bit much to do all by one's self, but he was happy to be assigned to a job that seemed so necessary. By the time he was finished, the full splendor of the stars in the night sky was clearly visible through his grass-green hair.

Sticking around to view the night sky would have to wait, as Ignatz could feel the beads of sweat that had collected on his forehead despite the frigid temperature start to freeze from the cold of the night air. Swiftly, he moved inside of the cathedral proper to shield his body from the wind. It was a bit warmer in a place with four walls, but considering that there was almost no ceiling, it wasn't by much. As the painter held his hands at his sides under his arms in order to warm them, he finally realized exactly where he was, and just whose territory he was in as he saw the looming figure draped in furs on the other side of the hall. The figure saturated in the shadows of all of the enemies he'd slain so brutally: Prince Dimitri.

Ignatz froze where he stood for a moment before deciding to move forward as quietly as he could, as to not disturb Dimitri in case he was sleeping. The taller man was currently standing up, but he was leaning forward against the wall in a strange way, so he could have just fallen asleep like that. The painter had only moved a few meters away from the door when the beast prince turned on him, uncomfortably quickly, Ahreadbar at the ready and teeth bared.

"WHO'S THERE?!!" He roared loud enough to resonate throughout the whole church, only to double over with a bout of dry coughing a moment later.   
"I-I'm sorry, Your Highness, it's just me, sir! I-Ignatz Victor, sir!" The archer yelled in surprise as he froze instinctively. He was aware of how pathetic and whiny his cries for mercy sounded as the bounced off of the cathedral walls, but he didn't care right now, and they were soon drowned out by the raspy coughing of the future king. 'He sounds dehydrated...' Ignatz thought to himself, daring to take a step or two closer to the large blonde.

As his bout of coughing faded, Dimitri relaxed his posture ever so slightly and put Ahreadbar back to a standing position, using the twitching, glowing spear as a makeshift support cane as he paused for a moment before turning away from the small greenette. "Go away..." he growled as he had often growled before to anyone who dared approach him, but this time his voice was even more gravely than it normally was, and his usual threatening, looming stance seemed unsteady. Ignatz said nothing as he walked closer to the center of the cathedral and then further. 'He can't be at all well, but I doubt that he'd let me do anything abou-'

"URghk!!" Ignatz retched aloud at the strong scent of dried blood and who knows what else that permeated his nostrils as he got closer to the area where the prince was leaning against the wall. Dimitri only turned his head to face him this time, but Ignatz was close enough now to see the dried bloodstains on his golden hair, the gauntness of his cheekbones, and the bags under his eyes. His wide chest was heaving at an unnatural pace and Ahreadbar's pole shook with every breath.

"Y-your Highness-"  
"What are you looking at? Get out," was the growled reply he received. But there was little power left behind the hostility, so Ignatz breathed cautiously through his mouth and chanced a few steps closer. "I'm sorry, but I really thi-"  
"Did you not hear me? I told you to leave."   
This was less of a growl, but there was ever so slightly more power behind it. It was clearly meant to function as a threat, but the beast-king was in little condition to act on any threats right now.  
Ignatz raised his hands to shoulder level defensively. They were empty but he was already mentally preparing to cast physic if the prince would allow it. "Please your highness...Dimitri," he put emphasis on the man's name, hoping it would make the prince feel a bit more comfortable in letting his guard down for just a minute. "I just want to make sure you're alright. I-I know some white magic-"  
Ignatz had not expected one of Dimitri's feet to give way underneath his large form. Before the greenette could act, Dimitri steadied himself with both hands against the wall before he fell to the ground. He dropped Ahreadbar in his spell of weakness and did not seem to be inclined to pick it up.   
"I...am not injured," the bloodied man huffed between breaths that seemed to grow more ragged. Having regained his balance, he turned so that his whole body was facing his green intruder, still leaning most of his weight on the wall. "Your white magic would serve no purpose to me. It cannot raise the dead." His head twitched to the right as he said that; growling at something presumably only he could see or hear.  
Ignatz took a couple of steps closer to him, hands now reaching out for the would-be king, eyes examining him for new wounds. He found none, so he supposed the damage must be internal.  
"Right, I see that you're right, sir, but you're clearly ailing." Maybe it was because of the decrease in hostility he felt from Dimitri, or maybe it was due to years of war and months of life or death combat had hardened him. Whatever the reason was, right now, he wasn't afraid of this man that could send most people running scared with just a glance out of his one good eye. All he was left with was a fear of the shadows that threatened to completely engulf everything good about the man that he thought that he once knew the aspect of.  
"Just leave. I do not need you," Dimitri rasped, locking his ice-blue eye on Ignatz's honey brown ones. His gaze was steady for a moment before his iris began to tremble for reasons beyond Ignatz's ken. 'Probably due to fatigue,' the archer thought, not realizing he had stepped within a few feet of the man in black armor before him, close enough to feel the clouds of his breath.   
"But you need someone," he began trying to keep down the concerned whine that wanted to permeate his words. "And I'm the only one here right now, so-"  
"Why ARE you here?"  
"I'm here for you."  
The words tumbled out of his mouth before he could even think of what 'here' the prince meant in his question was. The cathedral, the Monastery, or the Kingdom Army? Whatever the question had meant, when Ignatz used took a moment to think about it, there was some truth to the instinctual answer he had given.   
Dimitri paused, his expression dark and unreadable. "Hnmph," he grunted through closed lips as he angled his head upwards. "Here for me?" His tone was disbelieving but not mocking.   
"Here to kill me?"  
"No!" The pathetic whine in his voice came out unbidden. Ignatz took a deep breath before continuing. "With all due respect, you're already doing that yourself."  
Dimitri did not move. He only narrowed his eye at the smaller man.  
" I'm sorr-...No, I can't be sorry, your skin's the color of old parchment, it feels like what a winter in Gautier looks like, and you smell like you haven't bathed since last Blue Sea Moon. Don't you have to be alive to take your revenge? Well, if you stay out here till we take Myrddin Bridge, you won't be. Please, Dimitri. "

His single eye widened. In surprise, anger, or some other emotion, it was a mystery to both men. Inside of Dimitri, everything he knew was in a constant swirl of chaos, like an ocean sea, chopped and tossed by a tempest. The way Ignatz pleaded his name did not help to sort matters out. His head already hurt before the man who was here for him started lecturing him. He started to say something, but his dehydrated throat was too dry. "...I can't face this anymore," he rasped incomprehensibly before beginning to turn to the front door of the building away from the artist who was still internally questioning his own actions, to at least some degree. The blond leaned himself on the wall and used it to prop him up as he began to walk away. He swallowed a lump in his throat. "You've surprised me, Ignatz."

Ignatz's next move took even the painter himself by surprise, even if there was a place in his heart and soul that had very purposefully made Ignatz do such a thing to the larger man. With all of the agility assassin training had afforded him, he quickly confined Dimitri to the wall by slamming his palms down on either side of where the prince was leaning, pinning him in. Somehow, he wasn’t touching Dimitri, despite the similarity in size between the prince's chest width and Ignatz’s wingspan, as it were. But this motion seemed to serve its purpose: by some power that could not have been an archer's strength alone, Dimitri had stopped in his attempt to limp away. Even though he could easily just force Ignatz’s arms out of his way or even break Ignatz’s arms clean off, which Ignatz knew could very well happen, he instead just froze in place; his eye hidden by a combination of the deep shadows of the cathedral and his bent posture.

"...I can't leave you alone with just the voices in your head for company, Dimitri." He didn't know what words to say after this, but he still desperately wanted to be let into Dimitri's heart just this once. "I may not be one of your closest friends, but right now, I'm here for you. "

A few moments of silence passed between them, with only the sound of distant night animals to let them know that the world outside of the two of them was still real. Something that sounded like Ignatz's name passed through the pale lips of the prince before he seemed to just surrender to gravity and allow himself to fall against the opened arms of the smaller man. Ignatz made a noise that was muffled by Dimitri's fur cape pressing against his lips as the capes owner collapsed onto Ignatz. While he was nowhere near strong enough to fully support the weight of a man that was nearly a whole foot taller than him, he was strong enough to keep himself steady as he slowly sunk down into a seated position, still holding on to Dimitri's so that the other man's head ended up on his chest. He grunted as he tried to get comfortable under the sudden new weight of another much larger person. 

"Goddess, you're burning up," he chided gently, placing a hand on Dimitri's forehead. The other man's response to that was something that sounded like a growl and a purr at the same time. Either way, it was as plain as the red stains on the gold of Dimitri's hair that the Prince was losing his hostility to the relief that the warmth of another person brought. 

"I..." Dimitri huffed quietly voice barely above a whisper. "I am so tired."  
"I know," Ignatz replied as soothingly as he could, stroking Dimitri's hair. While the usually timid archer was unused to being put into the role of the comforter, he found the motions coming naturally to him. "I can't begin to imagine what you've been through. You've been walling yourself up away from us for so long." He thought of continuing to speak his thoughts on Dimitri's actions but decided that was a conversation for a time when the prince was in better condition. For now, he just stroked his fingers through the mess of knarled blonde hair in silence and wrapped his other arm around Dimitri's armored chest. He was startled when after a minute of sitting in a soft silence with each other, Dmitri's arm wound itself around his own, the edges of his gauntlets digging in desperately. Ignatz still did not move, except to attempt to pull Dimitri closer.

"I can no longer see them tonight..." The soft plaintive baritone of Dimitri's voice was tinged with the guilt of being relieved of a burden and the fear that it may return to you. "My father, stepmother, Glenn...and Dedue." Ignatz could not help but lower his head in mourning for the last name spoken, and perhaps due to instinct or perhaps due to a longing for affection, Dimitri angled his head so that he was almost nuzzling Ignatz. This brought to mind a time that the artist had once compared the other man to a Blaiddyd Rex. 

"I cannot live for myself anymore," Dimitri said with a voice just on the edge of tears.  
 _' I know just a bit of what that's like,'_ the reluctant future knight thought unconsciously. Not that anything he knew could compare with Dimitri's hurt, but he could use very thin common thread between them to relate.  
"You have to live, though."  
"I know...they need me to take revenge, they cry for it every night-"  
"No, Dimitri, you need to really live," he breathed, softly yet firmly, into Dimitri's ear. "If all goes well, you'll have your revenge before the end of spring, and then what will you do, Dimitri?" It all came out as level headed as he had willed it to, but it still caused the prince's posture to stiffen on top of Ignatz. The exact opposite of what the exhausted man needed.  
"I'm sorry for bringing up something difficult now, but I did it because so many of those following you care so much for you. Even after everything people still want you to be okay, and I'm one of them. Life has been very hard for you, I know, but we've seen a Dimitri that is powerful enough to withstand so much and just keep going, leaving behind the impression of a golden god for the rest of us to try and reach..."  
The 'golden god' in question made a confused noise at the back of his throat. Ignatz just responded by brushing his cold hand over Dimitri's warm forehead. The large blonde relaxed once again.  
"We all know that you've done things that anyone would be ashamed of," Ignatz continued gently. "But anytime you're ready to try to atone, we're ready to welcome you back, and try to help you. And I firmly believe I speak for all of us. We miss you, Dimitri."  
The despondent growl that answered him did not betray his expectations; he hadn't really expected the words of someone Dimitri probably gave no thought towards to change a man so deep in a sea of his own sins.  
"I am out of my place, I realize this," he sighed, bowing his head and inadvertently burrowing his nose in Dimitri's hair. The smell was unpleasant, but the touch was anything but. "I just can't help but remember that distant, different version of you from all of those years ago. You were still hurting then, weren't you? I'm sorry...you shouldn't have had to hide everything." He raised his head and moved the hand that wasn't locked in the prince's strong grasp underneath the gaunt chin to tilt Dimitri's head upwards to face him. His eye was hazy, with tears pooling at the edges, threatening to spill, but his gaze was focused solely on Ignatz. "I want to ask..." Ignatz started, but staring directly into Dimitri's remaining window to the soul made continuing difficult. He was almost startled when the future king opened his mouth first.  
"You once held me like this...before. Before everything. Do you remember, Ignatz?"   
"I did?" The archer tried hard not to flinch at the sudden feeling Dimitri shifting his position so that one of his large armored hands could cradle Ignatz's chin.   
"When you broke your arm before the sword tournament. We...tripped, and you tried to protect me."  
Dimitri almost chuckled on remembering such innocent circumstances. It was a warm rumbling sound that Ignatz would preserve in his mind forever, in case no one ever got to hear the prince's laughter again. He used to see him laughing or at least giggling often. He would glow so brilliantly at those times; it would truly be a tragedy if that golden boy never felt like laughing again.  
"You ended up..." Dimitri continued after a pause. "...holding me, sort of like this. You must not have noticed, since it was an accident, but...I still thought about that time."  
"You thought about it?! When?" Ignatz interjected, embarrassed. "I do remember all of that but I just figured that was a passing moment..."  
"I liked it. Not that you broke your arm, but being held so closely like that," hummed Dimitri tenderly. "It was warm. A warmth that I've missed, till tonight." Either the color was starting to come back to Dimitri's face, or he was blushing, just a little as he looked up at the green-headed archer with a gentle smile. A smile that was a weary version of the one that Dimitri wore on that day that seemed to have taken place in a different world, but the quality of the light Dimitri radiated at that moment was the same. A shine uncorrupted by the thirst for vengeance and the memories of blood and fire. Just the purest deepest essence of what Ignatz felt was the real Dimitri.  
"I remember the way you smiled at me that day," Ignatz professed fondly, returning Dimitri's tender look with one of his own. "It was incandescent, I mean, I just...when you smile like that, I can't get enough of it. Like how you're smiling now, the world stops, and I-"  
The artist cut himself off before he could continue babbling about things that didn't matter right now. He tried to choke out an apology but was stopped by the prince in his arms bringing his lips to Ignatz's.

There were no words for such a moment. A moment neither felt they deserved, but both knew that they needed, that they wanted. What this chaste peck on the lips meant, they had no idea, but they both knew that it meant something. _'Should I close my eyes or not?',_ Ignatz asked himself before Dimitri gingerly pulled his head away to rest it on the archer's dainty chest once again. It felt right to just allow Dimitri to rest there for a while, since his arm wasn't broken this time, but...

"Dimitri? As nice as that was...and I don't know why, but it was very nice, um...would you be willing to take a bath and rest in your own room for tonight?"

A grunt was all the response that was given at first, but soon Dimitri did remove his arms from the smaller man and roll off of his chest, ending up wrapped in his own cape before standing up. Despite how stiff and sore he had become, Ignatz also rose clumsily to his feet to find Dimitri holding on to Ahreadbar again, having picked it up in the time it took Ignatz to stand. He was now looking back at the archer over his shoulder, mouth hidden by the fur of his cape. _' He looks almost cute like that,'_ Ignatz thought before coming up next to the other man to be his makeshift crutch. 

They made no conversation for the rest of the night, there was no need to and no reason to. The two of them walking through the halls together earned them both odd glances from each of the guards, but they also said nothing, letting the night continue on in comfortable silence. They got into the baths together but bathed separately, still glancing at each other from a distance, just to make sure the other was still there, though there was a moment where Ignatz noticed Dimitri watching him for a little bit too long before turning hastily away, cheeks pink. Tonight was not the night to think on such things.

After leaving the bathhouse, Ignatz noticed that Dimitri seemed to be looking a lot better. He was still gaunt, of course, but no longer blood-stained, and he had evidently cut or brushed out the knots in his hair and shaved the stray hairs from his face. He now smelled like chamomile instead of carrion, a welcome improvement.   
"I'm glad that you let me take you there, thank you, Dimitri."  
"Never again."  
"What?" Ignatz was taken aback, first by the man's harsh words and tone, and then by Dimitri's hands grabbing his wrists and pulling him closer. The archer was further surprised by the prince bringing Ahreadbar behind his smaller back to pull him flush with his fully armored torso. Dimitri kissed him again, harder this time, still just a peck, but longer and with closed eyes. It lasted only for the sweetest of moments until Dimitri ripped his lips from Ignatz's, eyes swimming with emotion until settling on the ice-cold anger that had been so common in them for the past months.   
"I can't ever do this again, I don't deserve this." Dimitri turned from him, beginning to walk away in the direction of the cathedral.  
"Wait, wait, Dimitri!" Without thinking, he grabbed Dimitri's wrist, nearly being dragged by the other man's force. But Dimitri's stopped and stood still, not meeting Ignatz's eyes.   
"I know that my words don't mean anything to you, so I won't bother with convincing you. I just want you to promise me, just for tonight, that you'll sleep in your room."  
Dimitri regarded him with a glance that looked...hurt? But he did turn towards his room.   
"Fine. If you really think that your words mean so little to me, then why do you think I'm going?" He said as he slowly walked away towards the dorms.   
"Thank you, Dimitri." Ignatz sighed in relief as he walked the short distance to his own room with the other man, both with their eyes on the ground.   
When Ignatz turned to go into his room, Dimitri didn't stop walking, but he did say something under his breath that Ignatz didn't quite catch. It would probably be futile to ask him, so the archer just set about opening the lock for his dorm room, fingers stiff from the frigid air. He briefly wished that he could have held hands with Dimitri. That would have been so good for both of them.

The utter foolishness of his actions tonight just struck the young man like a blow from a demonic beast. Or perhaps, more like a well-placed strike from the man who he had just shared such tender moments with tonight. He didn’t expect anything to result from what had happened tonight; he couldn’t, anything blossoming between the two of them would be too odd, wouldn’t it? What with him being a common knight-to-be from Leicester and Dimitri being...everything that he was; the hope of a bleak future, the king of a dying kingdom, the most important person in Fodlan that wasn’t the Emperor of Adrestia or the missing Archbishop. Not to mention their obvious differences in desirability… 

_Wait, why do I still think of his highness as being so attractive? Everyone whispers about how he’s gaunt, ragged, and beyond mad; things are not the same, but...I still, even now, think he’s just so beautiful. Untouchably, unreachably, achingly beautiful._

He’s always seemed to be touched by the goddess, Ignatz continued to think to himself as he stepped through the door to his room, peering towards the greenhouse to see if he could spot whether Dimitri was making good on his word. Thank the Goddess, Ignatz caught sight of the King's tattered cape moving slowly towards the entrance to the upstairs dorms. He moved into his room and shut the door behind him. Something in his heart sang of mixed emotions and omens as he discarded his dirty clothes and put on his sleepwear. He collapsed on his bed and looked up at the ceiling, waiting until he heard the sound of Dimitri's heavy footsteps above him. He allowed himself to fall into dreams, comforted by the notion that the radiant prince he had known once had returned for even just a moment, and seemed to be able to return again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry about Dedue, they did War for the Weak, he'll be back in a few days after this fic.  
> I wanted them to hold hands but it didn't work out.  
> I'm sorry this was out late, perfectionism and school killed me, but it's finished! And the scene the drawing displays is in it! Ahhhh!  
> Now I really want to write more of these two good sweet boys.  
> I'm tired, thank you for reading.


End file.
